Descriptive Writing - Going Graphic

What I see, what I feel, what I think

To put these into words, to colour these into graphic descriptions, is not easy. One can merely provide the information in skeletal form and the reader would have a basic idea.  However, ask one to paint a picture of what one wants to express and one is left grasping for words, the right words, the most apt descriptions that will transfer the image as far as is possible into the reader's imagination.

Let me give you an example of how bland a piece of writing can be when I adapt an extract from
Vance Palmer's The Rainbow Bird.

The day advanced so slowly while the teacher talked on monotonously and the bored children made paper darts. However, she waited for the time when she could see the bird fly out of its home.

Yes, you get the basic idea of what is happening, but that is all. You don't get the emotions, the sounds, the characteristics of the persons included in the extract. It is a dull reading. Now, compare this with the original which is given below:

The hands crawled over the cracked face of the clock with aggravating slowness; the teacher's voice droned on and on like a blowfly against the windowpane; the other children squirmed in their seats and folded paper darts to throw across the room. But all she lived for was the moment when she would again see the coloured shape skim from its cavern in the earth, making her catch her breath as if the wings has brushed across her heart.

You have graphic descriptions in the use of words such as `crawled', `cracked', and `droned'. Moreover, when a comparison is made to the sound that a blowfly makes against the windowpane, at once, it becomes easy to hear the dull, undulating pitch of the teacher's voice. You can almost see that classroom in your mind's eye!

Write to interest, to convey the picture as you see it in your mind. Words have the power to attract attention, to impress and to elicit reactions.

Below is a bare description of a person watching the rain fall:

The heavy rain falls on the greenhouse and I am seated in the shelter. The rain is so heavy that I can hardly see anything.

In mid-week, a suggested graphic description will be offered. In the meantime, try to imagine the scene and paint a picture in words that will appeal to the reader.